Self-Criticism and ADHD: How to Be Kinder to Yourself

If you have ADHD, you probably know that inner voice that never seems to shut up—pointing out what went wrong, what you “should have” done differently, or why you’re not measuring up. For many people with ADHD, this inner critic can feel extra loud, leaving you frustrated, stuck, or overwhelmed.

Why the Inner Critic Is So Loud for someone with ADHD?

ADHD affects executive functioning—things like planning, focus, and time management. So when everyday tasks feel tricky or you forget something important, it’s easy to blame yourself. Comparing yourself to people who seem “on top of things” only makes the inner critic louder, feeding anxiety, low mood, and stress.

Common triggers for the inner critic could involve forgetting tasks or missing deadlines, struggling with routines or organisation, feeling scatterbrained in social or work situations or comparing yourself to neurotypical standards.

When it comes to ADHD, we know that this is not the individual's fault, yet that inner critic rears its head anyway. 

So what can we do? Here are some tips on how to soften the inner critic;

1. Notice it without judgement
   That critical voice is a habit—not the truth. We often feel like our thoughts are facts, however they are just our perception of ourselves and the world. Acknowledge it, but don’t automatically believe it

2. Give it a persona
   Naming your inner critic or imagining it as a separate character can help you respond with kindness instead of reacting automatically.

3. Celebrate effort, not perfection
   Perfection doesn’t exist. Constantly striving for it and not meeting it feeds the inner critic. Rather than focusing on the outcome, celebrate how hard you worked to get there.

4. Pause and breathe
   When self-criticism spikes, take a few slow breaths to break the cycle and create space to respond differently. You can find some videos on how to slow your breathing on my website.

5. Seek support
   If it feels too difficult to challenge the inner critic by yourself, seek support through therapy or ADHD groups.

Moving Toward Self-Compassion

ADHD can make self-criticism feel constant, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By noticing when your inner critic speaks, understanding what triggers it, and practicing gentler responses, you can build self-compassion, resilience, and confidence. Over time, you’ll start to navigate challenges more calmly and appreciate your unique strengths instead of focusing on perceived flaws.

If you liked this blog post and would like to work further on your softening your inner critic, don’t hesitate to get in touch for a free consult.